|
THE
WEDDING
PART
I
| PART II
CEREMONY | RECEPTION
| AFTER-PARTY | POSTSCRIPT
THE CEREMONY
 A
last second debate about not keeping the guests waiting versus not
letting a late arrival miss the start of the ceremony ensured that when
Peter finally walked up the aisle he was pale enough for many guests to
honestly believe he was about to pass out. However, when the
processional which we had worked so hard to time properly ended at
exactly the right moment, Peter was able to finally take a few deep
breaths and worry only about marrying Brandon. Fighting to
hold back tears as the ceremony processed we were both very grateful we
had chosen not to try to memorize our own vows! After all those
months of planning here we were finally pledging our commitment to one
another in front of our family and dearest friends. The moment was
every bit as profound for us as we had hoped it would be and far more
emotional for many of our guests that we had ever imagined. As
anxious as Peter may have been about the details of the wedding, there
was never a moment of doubt about the purpose. The way Brandon
reassuringly rubbed Peter's hands as he struggled to get
through his
vows only reminded him of how right this choice
was. The ceremony
continued as smoothly as it had begun (click here to see the complete
programme)
and we were soon
walking back down the aisle, this time as a newly
united couple. Emerging back into the sunlight Peter felt an overwhelming
relief that everything had
gone well and that he could start truly
enjoying this day. Brandon meanwhile, broke down in tears of joy
as he and Peter hugged and greeted their guests in an impromptu
reception line just outside the church.
As
ceremony-only guests headed home and dinner guests strolled around the
park, the grooms posed for pictures with family
 members and drank in the
pleasure of such a wonderful
day. Once photos were finished we took a
last look at the church and struck up a conversation with elderly
visitor to the village who informed us that he had actually attended the
church back when it was still active. Quite a nice moment for us
history buffs. (Other visitors who had sat outside the church
through the entire ceremony finally accepted that they just weren't
going to be seeing a bride that day!)
THE
RECEPTION
 After
taking a short stroll to walk out the remnants of Peter's anxiety, we
headed over to the Half Way House inn. Since we had expected the
family photography to take longer, we were planning to rejoin our guests
only when we made an entrance at dinner. However, we decided to
take advantage of being ahead of schedule by catching up with some of
our friends and relatives before they headed in for cocktails. After everyone was
seated, our MC Robbie started off the evening with a funny and heartfelt
toast to the grooms (which included the first of many jokes that evening
regarding Peter's
tenacity for details). This was followed by a toast by each of the
grooms to each other and to their families. We had decided to
deliberately keep the toasts short and sweet (how are you ever going to
sum up how you feel about your loved ones anyway?) which was lucky for
Peter as he was as choked up with emotion then as he was exchanging his
vows! This was followed by toasts
from the best men and then dinner (a slight variation of our schedule
which readers of our planning comments may have noticed).
Luckily,
Peter had been able to enjoy the meal during the tasting part of the
wedding preparations because he was still so pumped up with adrenaline from earlier jitters that he couldn't eat a
thing! Everyone else, however, had no problem enjoying the
delicious butternut squash soup, Boston bibb and grilled
peppers,
Chicken Supreme and chocolate caramel dream flan.
Before dessert we were treated to the most enjoyable toast of the night
from Peter's college friend Randy, an amateur comic if there ever was
one. His theory of how Peter's homosexuality had helped make him a
better straight man not only had everyone in stitches but was also a
perfect bridge between the two groups of people attending the
wedding. In order for our ceremony to be taken seriously we
probably went so far in presenting it just like any other wedding that
straight guests were likely unsure of how to address its uniqueness if
at all. However, when they witnessed a straight man standing
up to not only acknowledge the participants' sexuality but to also make
good-natured jokes about it, they surely realized that it was okay to do the same and
to just be themselves.
Soon
after the toasts were done we made the rounds to say our goodbyes to
guests who would not be coming to the after-party, realizing how much we had to say to all our friends and how little time we
had to do it. We then climbed into our limo (a standard black
stretch variety this time) and headed home to change for the final
portion of the day.
THE
AFTER-PARTY
After
a quick pit stop to freshen up and change, we headed down to Joe's Elbow
Room. With the formality of the day over, we could finally take
time to talk to our friends and - at least for Peter - eat for the first
time since breakfast. We were thrilled to see that so many of our
family members came out as well as many other friends who we were not
able to
 invite to the ceremony. It was great finally getting a
chance to really talk to our guests while Joe's (the best man, not the
restaurant) compilations of our
favourite songs were playing away in the background. Peter had
some interesting conversations in particular. While our straight
guests had been quick to express their feelings about the ceremony, many
of his gay friends had continued to subtly tease him for his traditional
desires as they had since he had announced the engagement.
However, as the party progressed, the alcohol revealed that their good natured
cynicism was actually masking far more profound feelings. More
than one of them confessed that they had been deeply moved by the
ceremony with one person going so far as to say that the wedding had
become a template for his own relationship goals. It gave us tremendous satisfaction to hear that we have been able to inspire
others particularly in a gay community like Toronto's that seems to
reward materialism and superficiality and reject good men who strive for
something more substantial.
At
midnight Chris began spinning music live which was a great way to wrap up the
day. By last call many friends were ready to continue the party
but we were just too exhausted. We headed home to get ready for
our honeymoon in Paris and to start the rest of our lives as a committed
couple.
POSTSCRIPT:
THE DAY AFTER
When
you are engaged, the wedding becomes the focal point of your
life. Every day for months or years it looms on the horizon
whether you are actively preparing for it or not. And the closer
you get to it, the more society shares your excitement which only boosts
the event's prominence in your life. Then, abruptly, it's all
over. Your days that were filled with appointments and planning
are suddenly wide open. That instant rapport you established with
other fiancés at parties quickly withers. People react far less
enthusiastically to a recent marriage than to an impending one. We
knew this and planned for the emotional come-down by committing to a
honeymoon immediately after the wedding, even if it were no more than a
couple days in Montreal. What we didn't plan on was the gap
between the wedding night and the departure of our flight late the next
afternoon. Luckily for us Peter's parents had to come in to town
to return something to his sister so they all joined us for
brunch. It was a great time to talk about the previous day's
success and to thank them again for all their help. Without their
company it probably would have made for a depressing morning on that
rainy day!
As
for the honeymoon, it was as perfect as the wedding. But that's a
story for another day . . .
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